I’ve worked with engineers, managers, and executives for decades – but one of my greatest teachers is my dog, Misha.
That might sound ridiculous at first. But hear me out.
Most of what’s shaped me hasn’t been formal advice – it’s been noticing patterns in everyday life. And Misha happens to be a great example of that. I don’t keep a framed inspiration quote on my wall. And I don’t revisit a list of “golden rules.” What I do carry are the small, daily lessons from paying attention to people, to experiences, and yes, to my dog.
Big advice often sounds impressive in the moment, but it fades. What sticks are the things you notice in real time – the patterns in how people work, how they recover from mistakes, and how they treat each other. Those small, unpolished lessons often end up shaping you far more than the big speeches.
Misha doesn’t write leadership books, but he shows me how to live and lead every day. And as it was International Dog Day yesterday, I thought I’d share some of those lessons.
Lesson #1: Clarity wins over cleverness
If you want something from a dog, you have to be crystal clear - “Sit,” “Stay,” “Come.” Short, specific, unambiguous.
No hedging. No long explanations. No clever metaphors.
The same is true with people. Oftentimes, managers think clarity will make them sound simplistic. So they dress up instructions in jargon, or they over-explain. The result? Confusion. The more clever the instruction, the less likely it is to stick.
Think about the last time you gave someone feedback. Did you say: “I’d love to see you leverage cross-team synergies to maximize delivery velocity”? Or did you say: “Talk to the backend team before you start next time”? One of those sentences gets remembered. The other gets ignored.
When I give my team directions, I try to remember: am I being clear, or am I being clever? Misha doesn’t reward clever. Neither do engineers.
Lesson #2: Boundaries build trust
One of the fastest ways to erode trust is inconsistency. If I let Misha jump on the couch one day and scold him the next, he doesn’t know what to expect. It’s the same for teams.
We often think of boundaries as restrictive, but they’re not. Boundaries create safety. They tell people: “Here’s what’s expected. Here’s what won’t fly. And here’s what freedom looks like inside those lines.” That clarity builds trust. People know where they stand.
I’ve seen what happens when boundaries aren’t set. Take the example of an engineer who struggles for weeks on a difficult task, saying they’re nearly done but never quite getting there.
As a manager, you face a choice: ignore the cycle and risk the team’s reputation, or step in, set expectations, and create structure. Setting a boundary in that moment isn’t about punishing them – it’s about helping them succeed. Maybe it means:
- Daily check-ins
- Pairing them with someone more experienced
- Or redefining the approach
But without that clarity, frustration grows, morale sinks, and the whole team pays the price.
I want to be clear: boundaries aren’t about exerting control. They’re about creating conditions for autonomy. The irony is that when people know the limits, they actually feel freer.
Think of boundaries like guardrails on a road – you don’t resent them, you trust them. Because with the guardrails in place, you can drive with more confidence.
Lesson #3: You’re not the master, you’re the pack leader
Living with a dog reminded me of something I’d already seen play out in engineering teams: authority alone doesn’t create leadership.
When I first started managing, I thought being “the boss” meant having all the answers and making the final call on everything. It didn’t take long to realize that approach shuts people down. Doing so means your team will give you compliance, not commitment. They’ll follow your instructions, but they won’t bring their best ideas.
In engineering, that’s fatal. The complexity of our field demands creativity and initiative. You need people who feel ownership over their work – and ownership doesn’t come from dictatorship.
The best leaders aren’t the loudest voices in the room. They’re the ones who make space for others. They step in with direction when things get chaotic, but they don't mistake decisiveness for dominance. They build credibility by doing the hard work, by standing up for the team, and by admitting when they don’t have the answer. That’s what I aim for with my team.
Leadership isn’t about dominance – it’s about direction. When you stop thinking of yourself as the “master” and start seeing yourself as part of the team – guiding, not dictating – everything shifts. People start working with you, rather than just for you.
Lesson #4: Full presence beats constant worry
Misha doesn’t replay mistakes. If he loses a ball over the fence, he sulks for two minutes, and then it’s gone. No overthinking. No regret.
I wish I could fully work that way, too. But there is something to be learned here. Too often, we spend our time second-guessing ourselves:
- “What if I made the wrong decision?”
- “What if this fails?”
- Or “What if I’d chosen differently?”
And while some reflection is useful, constant worry drains energy and clouds judgment.
If you’re consumed by “what ifs,” you hesitate. You avoid risk and become the bottleneck yourself. And your team will end up mirroring your uncertainty.
Dogs show us the value of full presence. When they run, they run. When they rest, they rest. Try the same approach. Don’t half-work while worrying about rest, and don’t half-rest while worrying about work. Split focus helps nobody.
This doesn’t mean ignoring mistakes. It means processing them, learning, and then moving forward without carrying the emotional baggage. Your team needs you to model that ability. If you can let go and reset, they’ll learn to do the same.
The short version: Leadership lessons are everywhere
When I think back, the advice that’s stuck with me has come from noticing the patterns right in front of me. Sometimes that means watching how a senior engineer handles a production fire. Sometimes it means paying attention to how my dog moves through the world.
Some of these lessons include:
- Clarity always beats cleverness: If they can’t repeat it, it wasn’t clear
- Boundaries create safety, not restriction: consistency makes people feel safe
- Authority doesn’t equal leadership, direction does: your team doesn’t need someone barking orders – they need someone they trust
- Worry is wasted energy, presence builds momentum: constantly replaying mistakes doesn’t prevent the next one - learn and move forward
The point isn’t to take leadership cues from a dog. The point is that good lessons rarely arrive as polished speeches. They come from paying attention, connecting dots, and noticing what others miss.
If you practice that, you’ll find teachers everywhere – including the ones you least expect.
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Originally published on Medium.com
