If, three or four years ago, hopping between tech jobs felt like a fast-track to doubling your salary, things look vastly different now.
Fewer people switch jobs regularly, and more are becoming part of the recent tech layoffs. For some, it takes months – or longer – to land something new. The reasons are familiar by now:
- Volatile economies
- Over-hiring during the COVID-19 era
- Inflation
- Cost-cutting pressures
- AI
- And more
So, if you have a job, you’re probably holding onto it dearly. Even if it’s not the right one.
I consider myself fortunate. I enjoyed the companies I worked at when I started out. But I also wasn’t a typical hire. And I know that’s not the case for everyone, especially in the current economic climate.
My family, friends, colleagues, and clients all share their stories about ending up in jobs they didn’t love – or even outright disliked. You’re not alone in this.
It’s easy to talk about work-life balance when you enjoy your job. Your general life satisfaction is higher. Don’t get me wrong, even a perfect job comes with stress. But when the job fits, you’re worrying about results and outcomes, not just about making it through the day.
The wrong job is about more than just work
The wrong job doesn’t just affect your 9-to-5 – it affects your whole life.
If you’re a manager in a workplace where your higher-ups don’t give you the freedom to do your job, clients are rude and unprofessional, and you’re in a constant state of stress – that stress just follows you home. It affects your sleep, your relationships, your mood, and even your body.
Many studies show that bad experiences at work contribute to anxiety, depression, and other mental and physical health problems. Even though I’ve had mainly positive experiences in my past jobs, I still managed to run myself down.
I had no work-life balance. I used to overwork myself constantly to the point that I got so sick I had to go through surgery. I can only imagine what would’ve happened if, on top of that, I had to deal with a horrible boss, frustrating bureaucracy, or disrespectful colleagues.
In an ideal world, we’d all just walk away from a workplace that drains us. But, not everyone has the luxury of quitting without a safety net. Many are balancing:
- Debt
- Caregiving responsibilities
- A lack of savings
- Or being the sole provider for their families
So, it can feel like a trap. But one of the first ways out is to reclaim what is still within your control. Start with your mindset and take back your sense of agency.
Take ownership of what you can
Before you prepare your exit strategy or throw yourself into a passion project outside of work, it’s worth asking yourself: “Have I done everything I can to make this job better?”
Sometimes, the problem really is the system: a toxic manager, broken processes, or a company culture that doesn’t align with your values. Other times, there’s room to improve things from the inside.
Jobs, like relationships, don’t just happen – we create them. We shape them by how we show up:
- How we communicate
- Take responsibility
- And support those around us
And while it’s tempting to assume we’re just victims of a bad situation, there’s power in asking: “What if I’m part of the problem – and the solution?”
Introspection helps. Think about what you could do to make your situation better. Be open to trying different tools or approaches you’ve previously resisted. Revisit relationships with colleagues. Consider other people’s suggestions and challenge your own perception of how things should be.
Feedback is your secret weapon here. I believe every great manager should incorporate it in their leadership. Sometimes, when you’re so in the thick of things it’s hard to gain perspective. Feedback gives you that external perspective. It helps you discover:
- How others perceive you
- Whether others feel the same way
- Solutions or angles you’ve missed
- Small changes that could have a big impact
- Blind spots in your workflow
- And reassurance or validation you didn’t know you needed
Shifting your mindset won’t turn everything into rainbows and sunshine, but it can redirect your focus. And together with other little changes you can make a difficult job feel a little better.
Here’s how.
5 ways to reclaim your energy
Once you’ve started to take ownership of what’s in your control, the next step is to find some steady ground. Here are five small, practical shifts that can help you feel more stable – even if your work situation isn’t ideal.
1 - Focus on what works
There’s a phenomenon where, after you buy a car, you start noticing that same car everywhere. All of a sudden, you see blue Chevrolets everywhere. Where your focus goes, your energy follows. The same is true at work.
If you keep getting dragged into work gossip, you’ll feel like everyone’s always judging each other and you. But if you shift your focus just a little, you can see that gossip is just a small part, and you don’t have to partake in it.
Try this: take a simple piece of paper and draw a line down the page. On one side, get clear on what you dislike about your current position, company, or team. Be honest. On the other side, list the things this job provides.
It’s important to identify what’s bothering you because sometimes one thing makes everything look bad. It’s like putting a tiny drop of poison in a large bowl of soup. Even if the bowl were huge, you still wouldn’t eat the soup!
When you get clear on what’s bothering you, you can start listing the things that make this job worthwhile. They might include:
- A stable income
- A learning budget
- Working with tools you wouldn’t otherwise have access to
- A nice colleague you have lunch with every day
- Social security
- Contributions to your retirement
- And experience in a particular industry or field
Let’s say you shift your focus to the learning budget and finally start using it. You buy new books or sign up for a course you’ve always wanted to attend. Now, you’re focused on learning and improving yourself instead of overthinking whether your colleagues gossip about you.
That one shift won’t solve everything. But it’s a foothold. It might not seem like much in the presence of the problem, but it makes a huge difference.
2 - Have something outside of work
It’s easy to attach your identity to your job. Most of us do. In fact, we’re encouraged to. That’s why, when someone asks you to talk about yourself, you probably start by saying what you do for a living.
So, say you’re a manager. What happens if you have no freedom to do your job at work and your higher-ups micromanage everything you do? Suddenly, your identity becomes “a manager without the freedom to manage.”
That’s why it’s important to have something outside of work that matters to you. Maybe you’re a:
- Great parent
- Loving partner
- Talented football player
- Funny improv actor
- Or an entrepreneur with a side hustle
Having these things can fill the gap when your job doesn’t provide a sense of purpose. They can help you reclaim your identity.
When I was working in a company where the tasks were somewhat boring, after work, I was building my startup. I was grateful because the job gave me the financial stability and experience to start something on my own. That way, I wasn’t just a guy with a mundane job. I was a full-time worker by day and an entrepreneur by night.
3 - Create islands of joy
A bad job is like a bad relationship. After a while, you begin to walk on eggshells.
Take this example: every time you make a small tweak in the code, you’re forced to go through a long and unnecessary testing checklist. And, if you miss one step, someone yells. So you start overthinking every action. You double- and triple-check everything. Living in this pattern makes you become an overheated engine.
Islands of joy are small protective pockets in your workday that allow you to enjoy a few things. Let’s say around 10 AM, you go to the break room to grab a coffee. It’s your five-minute break when you can just sit, wait for the coffee to brew, and enjoy the peace and quiet.
Or maybe you can have a few hours of uninterrupted work and listen to music on your headphones while you work. These moments might seem small. But they matter. They break the vicious cycle of overthinking and anxiety. They’re like coolant for the engine.
4 - Journal
I’m a big fan of journaling. Whether I’m stressed or need to make a decision, I take my notebook and just start writing. Immediately, I feel better. Because, on the pages, I can see my thoughts and, usually, my answer.
Our minds have a way of blowing things out of proportion. Even if your situation is bad, your mind will make you think it’s ten times worse. One of the best remedies for overthinking and spiraling is getting those thoughts out of your brain and onto paper. And at least in my experience, most of the time, they aren’t as bad as we initially thought.
Take a piece of paper and write whatever comes to mind. You don’t need to pay attention to grammar or how it sounds, just put everything that’s on your mind onto the paper. Then give it some time and read what you wrote.
And if writing isn’t your thing, that’s okay. You can dictate, or just sit in your car, drive, and talk to yourself out loud. Verbal processing works for many people – especially if writing feels unnatural. What matters is getting your thoughts out of your head. It might sound odd but you’d be surprised at the answers you can find there!
5 - Create an exit plan
Bad jobs can feel like a cage with an open door. Technically, you can leave. But you choose to stay because it feels safer – at least for now. But what’s scarier is finding yourself in the exact same situation ten years later.
Your exit plan doesn’t have to be drastic. You don’t need to quit right away. It can be just a few small steps you take once a week over a few months.
It might look like:
- Week one: explore what’s available – on LinkedIn, Indeed, Glassdoor, or your local job boards
- Week two to four: sign up for a course to add to your resume
- Week five: update your resume and LinkedIn page
- Week six: make a list of things you want in your future job (but avoid falling into the perfection trap by setting unrealistic expectations)
- Week seven: start sending resumes to companies that align with your values and expectations
- Week eight: sign up for a networking event after work to make connections
- Week nine: you might already have some interviews scheduled
In under three months, you can shift your mindset and situation by doing just one thing per week. Nothing major and no all-or-nothing thinking. Just small steps towards something better.
The short story: the wrong job isn’t the end, just a detour
It’s easy to get lost in a bad job. It clouds everything from your commute to work to your evening meal – to even the way you see yourself. But you can make changes – small, incremental ones – that protect your energy and reclaim your sense of direction.
You can:
- Shift your focus to what does work
- Have something outside of work
- Create safe spaces during your working hours
- Clear your mind by journaling
- And have your exit plan
It won’t fix everything overnight but it will help you start moving in the right direction. Think of it this way, small steps today can make your future – even just months from now – much brighter. The future is coming either way, so shape it the way you want it.
Want more tips on leading effective software engineering teams?
Join my newsletter if you’ve found this content useful
Originally published on Medium.com
Content in this blog post by Alex Ponomarev is licensed under CC BY 4.0.
