One of the biggest lessons I had to learn in my first year as an engineering manager (EM) was simple but challenging: whatever can go wrong will go wrong.

You’ll think everything is finally on track:

  • Your team is amazing
  • They’re working well together
  • Things are going smoothly
  • And you’re starting to feel like you’ve got this management thing down

And then, out of nowhere, your best engineer quits and joins another company.

As a new EM, these sudden, unexpected changes can feel like a nightmare. And you get a not-so-gentle reminder that no matter how much you plan, you can’t control everything. 

On top of this, in your first year:

  • You’re still building experience
  • You’re still learning the ropes
  • And you are bound to make mistakes along the way

And that’s perfectly okay. 

The uncertainty can feel overwhelming, and it’s easy to worry you’ll never get the hang of it. But trust me, you will. 

For me, it wasn’t until the end of my second or third year that I started to feel like I had things figured out. So, that’s why I want to share some of these lessons with you now – to, hopefully, save you some of the frustration and speed up your journey. 

1 - Prepare for failure, not for success

Shifting my way of thinking was so valuable in coping with the demands. I learned to let go of thinking I’d have total control. Instead, I embraced the mindset of expecting the unexpected. And then, I planned for it!

The results were so much better when I started preparing for potential failures instead of just focusing on succeeding. So much so that I began applying this approach to all areas of my life.

For example, when I have a weekend getaway, I don’t just pack what I think I need. Instead, I prepare for everything I might need:

  • Two pairs of jeans, just in case one gets dirty
  • A casual pair of pants in case I need to dress up
  • A variety of long sleeve shirts, button-downs, and T-shirts, in case the weather changes 
  • And a warm, waterproof jacket – even in summer, because you never know!

Some might call me a pessimist, but I call it being prepared. You’ll learn that having multiple plan Bs is the best way to deal with the unexpected. 

As an EM, you’ll face all kinds of challenges. Some days, things will go perfectly, and others, nothing will go to plan. The key to being ready for whatever happens is preparing for every possible outcome.

2 - Gather as much information as possible

Imagine you're a spy in the Call of Duty universe on a covert mission in a hostile foreign country. 

Your team is spread across different positions, and your job is to retrieve intel without the enemy knowing. You need to know: 

  • Where the immediate danger is so you can avoid it
  • What your backup plan is if something goes wrong
  • What your superiors or team members need to plan their own escape
  • The lay of the land so you can escape quickly if needed

It’s the same when you’re an EM. Only this assessment takes time – several months, even. After gathering the data, you’ll need to make decisions based on what you know.

Act based on data  

Just like in a high-stakes mission, your risk of failure skyrockets if you try to make decisions without the right information. Instead, deal with one thing at a time:

  • Solve the most urgent issues first: Prioritize the most critical issues, and don’t forget to delegate.
  • Prepare for worst-case scenarios: Ensure your team has everything they need to keep moving forward and have contingency plans for long-term projects.
  • Prioritize everything else: Not everything requires your immediate attention. Take the time to work out what’s truly urgent and what can wait.
  • Know the field: Just like on a mission, fighting in a field you don’t know means you can be surprised by something as innocuous as rain. Learn everything you can about your role, team, and projects to make unexpected problems less unexpected.

3 - Review, refine, repeat

You’ve probably heard that good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment. This is especially true in engineering management!

In your first year as an EM, you’ll feel like you’ve made some poor decisions. But these missteps set the foundation for you to develop and grow. You’ll likely make mistakes in setting priorities and taking action. That’s part of the process. Here’s how you can keep improving: 

  • Review: what was the outcome of your actions?
  • Refine: what could you have done differently?
  • Repeat: when you find something that works, keep doing it!

Following this simple process will accelerate your growth as a manager. And not just for your first year, but throughout your career. 

4 - Evaluate your leadership skills 

As you move through your first year, you’ll likely focus on:

  • Your team’s results
  • Your work 
  • And the outcomes of your projects

But here’s the thing: you also need to evaluate yourself.

Leadership skills like conflict resolution, delegation, or giving feedback aren’t easy to develop. They take time, patience, and some trial and error. But these soft skills are for you to succeed as a manager. 

Think of it like physical fitness. Just like how exercising, eating healthy, and getting enough sleep are the foundation of a healthy life, leadership skills are the building blocks of your success. Don’t neglect them. 

Establish some metrics you can use to evaluate your own leadership. These may include:

  • Team morale: is your team happy?
  • Team motivation: are they inspired?
  • Product delivery: are you meeting expectations and hitting deadlines?
  • Effectiveness of your coaching: are you helping your team grow?
  • Big picture: are you balancing immediate needs with long-term strategy
  • Crisis management skills: can you handle unexpected situations smoothly?

Share these with your manager and ask for their feedback. After all, they’re there to help you succeed. Even when you feel like you’re not. 

5 - Know it’s normal to question yourself

In your first year, you’ll likely ask yourself this question a lot: “Was this the right career move?”

It’s completely normal to feel this way. Most new EMs do. No one knows exactly what they’re doing at first, and when things go wrong, it’s easy to wonder if you made a mistake in becoming an EM.

The truth is, no job is perfect. Every role has its pros and cons. 

Even video games aren’t perfect when you first start playing. At first, you’re not looking for the perfect game. Instead, you focus on finding a game with a story interesting enough to make you commit to learning it. And as you get better, you start to enjoy the game more. 

The same is true for an EM. It’s not about if the job is “perfect.” It’s about deciding whether or not you want to “play” it enough to get good at it. 

If you decide not to, that’s okay too. Be honest with your manager, take accountability, and explain that you’re unhappy. They’ll likely support you.

But if you’re committed to making it work, while it may be hard and time-consuming, you’ll get there.

6 - Find a way to stay motivated

Another question you’ll ask yourself during your first year is: “Do I have what it takes to keep going?”

I’m not going to sugar-coat it – you’ll have tough days. There’ll be setbacks and days where things just don’t go how you wanted them to. It’s frustrating but also a normal part of the human experience.

Finding strategies that work for you is the key to staying motivated, even on bad days. Here are some ideas:

  • Reward: Focus on the wins, no matter how small. Every victory counts. Remind yourself of the impact your work has on the team and company.
  • Acknowledgement: People need recognition, including you. If you think this motivates you, tell your friends, family, or your boss. Everyone needs a cheerleader now and then.
  • Perspective: As hard as it may be at times, remember everything is temporary – including bad days. Things will get better.
  • Values: Finding ways to tie your work to your values and beliefs makes it easier to keep going. For example, if you believe in improving your workplace for introverts, focus on that. Then your work isn’t just about you – it’s about a greater impact.
  • Self-care: Above all, practice self-compassion. Avoid blaming yourself and recognize that you can’t control everything. Take time to rest and recharge your energy levels – it’s the secret to longevity.

Some or none of these may work for you. Motivation is personal. The important part is not the specific method but finding what works for you. Keep experimenting until you find what keeps you going. 

The short version: you can survive your first year

Your first year as an EM will be filled with challenges and uncertainty. It won’t be easy at first, but the more you practice, the better you’ll get.

These six steps can help you succeed:

  • Prepare for failure, not success: nothing can go wrong when you’re ready for everything!  
  • Gather data: knowledge is power 
  • Review, refine, and repeat: it’s an iterative process
  • Evaluate your leadership skills: assessing your progress is a great way to improve 
  • Believe in yourself: know that it’s normal to question yourself
  • Stay motivated: find strategies to stay motivated is key to not giving up on bad days

There isn’t a perfect job, but every job can become a great fit if you persist. Keep learning, stay motivated, and I have no doubt you’ll become an incredible manager. 

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Originally published on Medium.com