Sometimes, things go terribly wrong.
For example, imagine releasing a new feature and thinking everything is okay. At first, it may even seem that way. Until feedback starts coming in that nothing is working as it’s supposed to.
You could panic and start yelling and blaming others, but you don’t. Instead, you:
- Pause
- Pay attention to what you’re learning
- Process this information
- And start making decisions
Soon, the mess is fixed. Had you not taken any of the above steps, this may not have been the case. You might have even made the situation worse.
If you haven’t faced this kind of scenario as an engineering manager (EM), you will one day. And you may worry about how you’ll handle it (and others) if you’re an introvert. After all, EMs are typically extroverts, and the role seems to need the skills and abilities they have.
This is true, but it also needs yours as well. Here’s what those are.
A quick note about this post
Every section contains a link to a more detailed exploration of its content. You can read each section in this post and come away with something valuable. But if you’d like more, you can find it through those links.
1 - Knowing your engineers like you know yourself
Extroverts can and do manage introverts well, but not always. The road there is also longer and more difficult, especially for newer EMs.
The same road awaits introverts managing extroverts. When you’re not from a particular group:
- Struggles
- Conflicts
- And misunderstandings are more likely to occur
But the opposite is also true. And, as you well know, many engineers are introverted. So, as a current or future EM from the same group, you’re uniquely positioned to:
- Support them
- Hold them accountable
- And work with them in the ways that best fit their needs and preferences
This doesn’t mean you can spend less time or effort building relationships with the individual contributors (ICs) on your team, though, including introverts. Even within specific groups, you’ll find a wide range of individuals. And, to make the most of your natural understanding of introverted engineers, you need to act on it:
- Speaking to them about their blind spots in a language they understand
- Advocating for them to project managers (PMs)
- And creating the kind of environment in which they thrive
2 - Creating their ideal environment
The optimal working environment is unique to each person’s:
- Background
- Experiences
- And personality
This is as true for introverts as it is for extroverts. You can’t apply the same rules across the board and have them be equally effective for everyone, but you can apply some. At the very least, you can start this way and then adjust to more closely match the specific needs of each individual.
As before, you are at an advantage with your introverted engineers. You’ve been one yourself, so you know what kind of environment you perform best in. Start there. Instead of doing what other managers do or what you think you should do, do what you would want from a manager.
Pretend you get to ask your EM for the perfect work situation. What would you ask for and why?
For example, maybe you struggle to switch from one task to another as other introverts do. While it would be ideal for them to make this shift without difficulty, this just isn’t easy for most.
If you’re like them and you had the opportunity, you’d ask your EM for uninterrupted time to work. As the EM, among other strategies, you can build in this time for your engineers (introverted and extroverted) with blocks throughout the day specifically for this purpose.
You might also ask your EM for more independence. Again, as the EM, this is something you can offer your engineers with a management style you’re already well-practiced in as an introvert.
3 - Managing from the background
Some people have the mistaken notion that managers, including EMs, need to be loud and take center stage at all times. This leads them to insert themselves into conversations and situations they’re not wanted or needed, often causing more problems than solutions.
In reality, your best work as an EM is invisible. You won’t get credit when things are going well, but you will be held accountable when they aren’t. While this isn’t fair, it does mean introverted EMs like you have another unique advantage.
Think of how many conversations you let others dominate until stepping in was necessary. Intervening in this way might’ve been difficult, especially if you’re not used to the spotlight, but how often did your patience and then action result in something positive?
Perhaps the others involved learned something valuable from your patience and lack of immediate intervention. Maybe you:
- Added an insight they hadn’t considered
- Prevented a conflict from escalating beyond control
- Or kept the discussion on track
This is the same kind of light-touch management your introverted engineers need. Again, consider if you would (or did) enjoy the same approach from your previous EMs. If the answer is yes, apply those strategies to your engineers with the confidence of someone who’s already well-practiced in the methods they respond to best.
As you may have guessed, one of these methods is another skill you’re likely already good at.
4 - Listening to them
Many people think of this first when considering introvert advantages. And it is one of them, but not just because it’s something you do that others may not. Because although you’ll need to speak frequently as an EM, you’ll also need to do a lot of listening.
This holds true even if most of your communication is async (a survival strategy I highly recommend). Just replace talking with typing and listening with reading – everything else is the same.
This skill is key for EMs to master because so much of your work involves solving problems. Which you can’t do if you’re not certain of what they are or the complexities involved.
Imagine you have two ICs arguing with one another. Now, imagine before you even know what the argument is about, you step in to solve the conflict. You haven’t listened to (or read) each side, leaving you unprepared to resolve the situation in a way both people can accept.
But what if you didn’t step in right away and instead listened and reflected on what you heard? Then, when you intervene to prevent further escalation, you have all the information necessary to:
- Show both people you’ve considered each side
- Ask relevant follow-up questions
- And provide a satisfactory solution
This stops further issues from occurring and increases the level of trust and respect those ICs have for you. Because of this, they’ll be more willing to share:
- Concerns
- Suggestions
- And observations
This means you’ll get more of what you need to continue making solid decisions and creating meaningful solutions. But, again, listening is only one component of what’s needed to effectively accomplish this.
5 - Reflecting
As we’ll touch on more below, you’re going to experience a lot of pressure as an EM – it’s just part of the role. Surviving this pressure requires various strategies, including having the proper mindset.
Another one is taking the time to think and reflect before acting, such as with the conflict mentioned above, or other situations, like analyzing and making a decision based on data.
This is not something to overlook or discount. Many people, even introverts, allow pressure to overwhelm and push them into making rash choices. As you can probably guess (and may have experienced as an engineer), these often create undesired results that force more unnecessary decisions and actions to clean them up, wasting:
- Time
- Money
- And people
But as an introvert, you’re already well-practiced in reflection. Your natural inclination toward listening also gives you the chance to stay quiet and process the information you’re taking in. This, in turn, gives you the chance to make a better decision than if you had not done so.
As an added bonus, leaning into this reflection and purposefully making the time and space for it also makes you come across as quietly confident, which increases others’ trust in you.
It also lends itself well to another advantage you have.
6 - Empathizing
Empathy goes hand-in-hand with listening – you can’t have the first without the other.
As an EM, you’ll face many situations requiring this skill. For instance, imagine you’re having a one-on-one with one of your ICs. Now, imagine they’re deeply upset with a decision you’ve made regarding a process.
Maybe they start being rude, even yelling. Many EMs would:
- Immediately shut them down
- Call them disrespectful
- Say they need to deal with the changes
- And possibly even punish them
But there are other ways of handling situations like this one without losing respect or seeming like a weak manager – the best approach begins with empathy. Here’s what that could look like:
- Let your IC get their emotions out
- Listen to what they’re really saying and why
- Reflect on this
- Thank them for sharing and validate how they’re feeling
- Explain the reasoning behind your decision
- Ask if they have suggestions
You can still tell them the way in which they spoke to you was inappropriate or even crossed a line. But by taking the above steps, you’ve ensured a much higher chance of them receiving what you say with the effect you were hoping for.
This is ultimately what you’re after as an EM, meaningful:
- Change
- Growth
- And progress
Empathy is essential for all three of these, as is one more advantage you possess.
7 - Excelling under pressure
As mentioned earlier, you will encounter a lot of pressure-filled situations as an EM. It’s very easy to:
- Become overwhelmed by that pressure
- Give in to it
- And want to give up
So, a key skill for EMs is their ability to handle that pressure. You may doubt yours as an introvert, though. Especially since so much of it is expressed through communication, an area where you think you lack.
However, due to your reflective abilities, you’re more naturally able to handle pressure instead of reacting impulsively and producing worse results. This is especially important since any decisions you make or reactions you have carry ripple effects through to your team.
Think again about the situations described above. All of them create various degrees of pressure through:
- Emotion
- Urgency
- And importance
And none of them happen alone. You’ll be (or already are) dealing with each of these alongside the others, sometimes even daily. So, it’s even more crucial to be able to effectively manage the pressure that comes with them.
As an introvert, you’re ready to do just this.
A final note on introverts
Obviously, not all introverts are like me. Even within a group, people are different. You, for instance, may have some or none of the above characteristics.
However, my goal is to show that introverts do have strengths and advantages as EMs. Maybe not all of them, but many. I know many of us struggle with the idea of becoming any kind of manager, let alone an EM, so I want to show it’s not only possible but even good.
Hopefully, it’s also clear that I have nothing but respect for extroverts. They bring a lot to the workplace, whether they’re managers or ICs. In addition, having the diversity different groups bring makes us all better in the end, and I’m glad to be a part of that.
The short version: you’re an effective engineering manager, too
You have many advantages as an introverted EM. This may seem hard to believe for a role often dominated by extroverts and needing the natural skills they possess. But it’s true because the role also needs your abilities as well.
Here are some examples:
- Knowing your engineers: because many engineers are introverts, and you were one yourself, you’re better at understanding their needs
- Creating the environment they thrive in: due to this understanding, you can take steps such as building in uninterrupted work time and giving them more independence
- Managing from the background: the EM role lends itself well to this management style, which you can lean into as someone who only intervenes when necessary
- Listening to them: much of your job will be solving problems, which requires listening to understand just what they are
- Reflecting: you’ll also need to consider the information you’ve taken in and not act until you’ve come to a good decision
- Empathizing: you’ll get more out of your engineers, including trust and respect, if you show them you truly understand where they’re coming from and why
- And excelling under pressure: the EM role is filled with pressure, but your reflective nature allows you a better chance to manage and react to it in productive ways
Doubting your ability to perform in a role is normal, whether that’s through inexperience, complex responsibilities, or a lack of confidence. But you don’t have to add introvert to that list any longer.
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Originally published on Medium.com
