“I don’t belong in this role” … “They made a mistake hiring me” … “Someday, someone’s going to find out I’m not good enough.”
If any of these sound familiar, know that you’re not alone.
These are classic signs of imposter syndrome. And they show up in management more than people like to admit. They don’t always scream. In fact, most of the time, they whisper:
- A pause before speaking
- A delay before making a decision
- Or a habit of double-checking everything with someone else
It’s normal to feel this way, especially when moving from being an engineer to a leadership position. But if you don’t work with these feelings, they start working against you.
It all starts with a small, persistent voice
You may be familiar with this voice. Most managers are.
It shows up in moments like:
- Taking on a new team and thinking: “I’m not ready”
- Sitting in a meeting with senior leaders and hesitating to speak
- Being asked for a decision and doubting your own judgment
- Or seeing another manager succeed and wondering: “Why not me?”
Sometimes, the voice says you’re not technical enough. Other times, not experienced enough. It’s always searching for a reason why you don’t belong.
You may try to push it down or ignore it. But it often wins, and manifests itself in how you lead, how you speak, and how much you trust yourself.
Dealing with feelings of inferiority is hard and should not be underestimated.
Self-doubt can dictate how you work
When unchecked, imposter syndrome can really change how you lead.
You might avoid making important decisions, or say yes when you should say no. Feelings of insecurity or inadequacy might make you micromanage instead of delegate, stay quiet in meetings, even when you have a good point, or even overwork to “prove” your worth.
At first, this looks like caution (or care). But over time, it slows you down and wears you out. Worse, it makes your team unsure. They can sense when you're holding back or when you’re second-guessing. This creates confusion, and sometimes, even distrust.
However, this doesn’t mean you’re a bad manager. It just means you’re human. You don’t have to get rid of these feelings entirely to move forward. You just need to see them clearly and learn what to do when they show up.
Here’s how.
1 - Know it’s normal
Let’s get one thing straight: imposter syndrome is not a sign that you don’t belong. It’s usually a sign that you’re growing.
This is especially true for engineers who move into management. You go from doing hands-on work – where you know the tools and can see progress – to working through people. Now, success feels like a fuzzy concept:
- You’re making trade-offs
- You’re in more meetings
- And you’re managing people who might know more than you in certain areas
So, it’s no wonder your confidence suffers.
The first step is to acknowledge that these feelings are normal. They don’t mean you’re broken in some way. Just that you’re in a hard, important phase.
2 - Spot your triggers
Imposter feelings don’t come out of nowhere. They usually have a trigger.
Try to notice what sets them off. It might be:
- Comparing yourself to a peer who seems more confident
- Taking on a new type of project
- Managing a senior engineer who asks really tough questions
- Or being the only one in the room who looks uncertain
When you feel that sudden drop in confidence, pause. Think about what just happened and what you’re telling yourself.
Doing this can be powerful. Once you name the story you’re telling yourself, you can choose how to respond to it. And remember: you don’t have to believe everything your brain says!
3 - Talk back to your inner critic
You can’t always stop that internal monologue, but you can train it to speak differently. Here’s a simple way to start:
- When you “hear” a thought like: “I have no idea what I’m doing”, try saying instead: “This is new, so I’m still learning.”
- Try changing from: “Everyone else is better at this” to: “Everyone has different strengths. And mine count, too.”
- Or from: “I might mess this up” to: “Even if I mess up, I’ll learn and adjust.”
This exercise isn’t a kind of fake positivity. It’s about being fair. You wouldn’t talk to your team the way you sometimes talk to yourself, so treat yourself like someone worth supporting.
4 - Build a case for yourself
When your brain says you’re not doing enough, give it proof that you are. Start a simple “win” list.
At the end of each week, write down:
- One decision you made that helped your team
- One moment you supported someone well
- And one thing you learned or improved
You can do this in a journal, a doc, or even Slack yourself. Over time, this list becomes a tool. It reminds you that you’re not stuck, but growing.
You can also do this with your team’s wins. Track the things your team accomplishes and how your leadership helped make that possible. You don’t need to shout it from the rooftops, but you do need to see it for yourself.
5 - Talk to other managers
One of the fastest ways to kill imposter syndrome is to hear other managers talk about their own struggles with inferiority. Trust me.
Find a peer or mentor and ask them:
- “What was hardest for you when you became a manager?”
- “Did you ever feel like you weren’t ready?”
- And: “What helped you feel more grounded in your role?”
These questions open the door to real stories. And once you hear them, you realize something important: you are not the only one.
Consider creating a space for this, like a small manager group or regular coffee with peers. Sharing stories helps us feel seen. And listening to others gives us tools we didn’t know we needed.
You don’t need to share every little secret, but being more transparent with your team helps them trust you more. Try statements like:
- “This is new for me, too, so I might need your input as we go”
- “I don’t have the answer yet, but I’ll find out and get back to you”
- And: “Here’s what I learned from the last project, and here’s what I’m changing”
These moments show that learning is normal, even in leadership. And when you model it, your team feels safer doing the same.
6 - Focus on growth
Sometimes, imposter feelings make you feel like you need to know everything. Every language. Every framework. Every leadership trick. While life is highly demanding and competitive – you don’t.
Pick one area you want to grow in. Maybe it’s technical depth. Perhaps it’s project planning. Then, do one small thing:
- Read a book
- Do some research
- Take a short course
- Or ask a peer how they handle it
Growth means staying curious and building trust with yourself over time.
A note on finding what works for you
Different people respond to these feelings in different ways. What works for someone else might not work for you – and that’s okay.
The important part is to try things and see what actually helps. That might be:
- Journaling
- Peer coaching
- Therapy
- Mentorship
- Reflection walks
- Silent thinking time
- Or voice notes to yourself
Notice what helps you reset, and make time for it before things spiral. With time, you’ll find a system that helps you find your footing again.
The short version: if you feel inadequate, you’re not alone
Many leaders feel like they’re not good enough, especially early on in their careers. These feelings usually come from big changes, new challenges, and unfair comparisons.
When ignored, they can affect how you lead – and how your team sees you. For longevity (and your own sanity) it’s crucial to recognize these patterns and important to reframe them.
It’s difficult to silence self-doubt, but you can start by:
- Understanding it’s normal to have these feelings
- Noticing your triggers
- Reframing your self-talk
- Acknowledging your wins
- Talking to other managers and peers
- Focusing on progress, not perfection
You don’t have to feel 100% confident to lead well. You just need to keep showing up, reflect honestly, and give yourself the same grace you offer others.
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Originally published on Medium.com
