Why Remote Managers Burn Out Without Knowing It
When people imagine remote work, they picture balance:
- Flexible hours
- No commute
- Homemade lunches
- And time for midday walks
But the truth is, remote work doesn’t automatically give you balance. It takes effort and intention to make it work for you. And, if you’re not careful, remote work can ruin any sense of work-life balance.
Why it’s different with remote work
Offices come with built-in boundaries:
- There’s a commute
- There’s a time when people arrive and leave
- You’re expected to dress a certain way
- Sit at a certain desk
- And eat lunch at a certain time
That physical separation reinforces mental separation. There’s a rhythm, even if it’s not one you particularly enjoy.
When you work remotely, all of this disappears. And unless you build your own structure, your day can dissolve into one long, formless blur:
- Your kitchen becomes your meeting room
- Your bed becomes your office
- And your couch becomes a place you both rest and answer emails
And you won’t even notice it happening – until one day you realize you’re exhausted.
I’ve seen people spiral because of this. They stop doing the basics like getting dressed or brushing their teeth. They snack endlessly or forget to eat altogether. And then they wonder why they’re irritable, anxious, and exhausted. It’s because they haven’t created a rhythm that lets their mind separate “work” from “not work.”
Why this matters for managers
Remote managers often operate invisibly. We don’t produce obvious, visible output like engineers or designers. In an office, we can look busy – walk around and are seen. But in remote settings, we’re just online.
A lot of managers find this uncomfortable. We can’t rely on looking productive. We have to actually be useful – by listening, supporting, and creating structure for the team.
If you’re a manager, your habits don’t just affect you. They shape the culture your team experiences:
- If you message late, they’ll feel pressured to stay on
- If you never unplug, they’ll think they can’t
- Or if you’re always burned out, they’ll assume that’s just part of the job
You don’t need to be perfect, but you do need to be intentional. Make it part of your culture by:
- Sharing what you’re learning
- Talking about how you manage your time
- And encouraging your team to find what works for them
And if someone’s struggling, don’t just talk about performance – ask how their routine is working and what balance looks like for them.
5 habits to help maintain balance
Let me be upfront, there’s no universal approach or magic fix. What works for me may not work for you. But over the years, I’ve figured out a few core strategies that consistently help.
These are the ones I return to, and the ones I share with anyone new to remote work, especially managers.
1 - Set a physical boundary (even a tiny one)
You don’t need a full home office. But you do need a dedicated space where work happens – and only work.
In my case, I don’t work from bed and I don’t take calls from the couch. I sit at my desk, and that’s where work happens. My brain knows: when I sit there, it’s time to work. When I get up, work is over. Those are signals your body uses to relax, so don’t mix them.
Even something as simple as clearing your work setup into a drawer at the end of the day helps. Signal to yourself that you’re “off.”
2 - Build a sustainable routine
I’m not going to sell you on a 5 AM productivity lifestyle. You don’t need to be superhuman. You just need a rhythm you can stick to.
Mine looks something like this:
- Wake up
- Get dressed (yes, every day!)
- Walk my dog
- Eat breakfast
- Start work
- Take a proper lunch break
- Finish work
- Log off and do something else
Do I break this routine? Sometimes. But 80% of the time, I follow it. And that’s enough. Find a rhythm that supports your energy, responsibilities, and goals. And then protect it.
3 - Leave the house
This might be the single most important thing I’ve learned.
If you don’t get out of your house during the week, your mental health will decline. I know because I’ve felt it. Others have told me the same. And the fix is simple: get outside!
Even small things help like:
- Walk to get groceries
- Work from a café
- Go for a run
- Visit family or friend
- Or sit in a park with a book
I have teammates who go on weekend drives just to get out of their neighborhoods. I know others who rotate between coworking spaces, even if it’s just once a week.
Whatever works for you – do it. Cabin fever doesn’t look dramatic but it does creep in. And it kills your motivation before you realize it.
4 - Understand what “rest” looks like for you
One of the most underrated parts of work-life balance is figuring out what actually restores you.
Some people rest by watching Netflix, others by going to the gym. I have a friend who builds tiny model cars under a microscope. Another one codes for fun after a full day of work (he swears it’s relaxing!).
For me, sometimes rest looks like walking my dog. Sometimes it’s reading. Sometimes it’s talking to a teammate about a topic I enjoy. That may sound like “work,” but it recharges me.
If you don’t know what real rest looks like for you, you’ll end up spending your free time in ways that don’t make you feel any better.
Pay attention to how you feel after. Do you feel recharged – or more tired? Then adjust accordingly.
5 - Reflect and adjust
When I started working remotely at 18, I didn’t have any of this figured out. I had no boss, no schedule, no commute – and no idea how to manage myself!
I tried everything:
- Reading productivity articles and books
- Watching motivational videos
- Changing my working hours
- Trying strategies like “eating the frog”
- I joined coworking spaces, then quit them
- And I worked from cafes, then got tired of spending the money
Then, I reflected, adjusted, and tried again. This might be the biggest long-term skill you can build as a remote worker: self-reflection.
I’ve been journaling since my early twenties. Not every day. Not in some perfect format. But enough to notice patterns. When you’re remote, you have to be your own feedback loop. That means asking:
- How did I feel today?
- What drained me?
- What helped me reset?
- And what do I want to do differently tomorrow?
It doesn’t take long. But over time, you start seeing what works for you – and what doesn’t.
From this, you learn self discipline and you start actually paying attention to the things that matter to you. What works for you personally, not for the company, not for other people, but for you. Remote work doesn’t come with instructions. You have to write your own manual.
You don’t have to be rigid
I’m not one for draconian rules. I think they can end up making you feel worse. I like common sense. For example, a: “I log off at 5 p.m. sharp and never touch Slack again” rule doesn't always work – especially for managers. Sometimes you need to reply to something at 9 p.m. And sometimes you’re in the middle of something and want to keep going.
That’s fine as long as you’re making that choice deliberately, not out of obligation or habit.
The key is having a default that supports balance, and being conscious about when you break it. Otherwise, those exceptions become the new normal and your balance vanishes again.
The short version: remote work doesn’t give you balance, but you can build it
Remote work doesn’t magically fix your work-life balance. But it can give you the freedom to build one that works – if you’re willing to experiment, listen to yourself, and take it seriously.
Here’s how to start:
- Establish a work space: have a physical separation between work and rest
- Build a routine: make it sustainable for longevity
- Get outside: it’s the only way to avoid cabin fever!
- Recharge: take the time to learn what rest is for you
- Reflect and adjust: you won’t get it perfect straightway but keep trying
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that there’s no universal “right” way to do remote work. It’s trial and error. Some people recharge with deep focus, others need social time. Some people feel great working from a cafe three times a week, and others love staying home – as long as they have structure.
What works for me might not work for you. But you can’t ignore how you’re feeling. Notice when you’re tired, irritated, or disconnected. Pay attention to what helps – even if it’s small. That’s the only way to course-correct.
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Originally published on Medium.com